


Stubborn

by NovelistAngel23



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: (dimitri is just dumb don't worry), Anxiety, Ballroom Dancing, Blood and Injury, Dancing Lessons, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Time Skip, Recovered Memories, Secret Crush, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 14:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21078248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovelistAngel23/pseuds/NovelistAngel23
Summary: When Ashe's book goes missing, he doesn't expect his search will end with him roped into helping Dimitri practice dancing for the White Heron Ball. It's no big deal, right? He's just helping his beloved prince practice!But as they spend more time together, he starts to wonder why he built these walls between them anyway...





	Stubborn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StardustCocoa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StardustCocoa/gifts).

Ashe wasn't a very messy person. It wasn't that he enjoyed being tidy--he was rather indifferent--but he liked to know where everything was. He hated losing things, quietly protective of his belongings.

So losing his little sister Angela's book was kind of a big deal.

He dug through his desk drawers, stood on tiptoe to look through the shelves. Had he left it with his textbooks? Was it under his bed? He'd nearly turned his room inside out before he decided if it were anywhere, it wasn't in his room. He sat on his bed and pressed his hands to either side of his head. "Okay, think, Ashe," he mumbled. "You only read it in here, so if it fell out of your bag, it has to be nearby, right?"

He looked at his bedroom door, imagining it outside, where the elements could warp the pages or ruin the beautiful cover. Goddess, he couldn't let that happen!

He rushed outside, scanning the courtyard for any sign of its faded brown binding. What if the stray cats got to it? Or even worse, one of the dogs? Or even _ worse _, one of his classmates?

The thought made him go hot with embarrassment. If they found out it was his, he'd just die. It wasn't the kind of book he usually read, less about heroes and more about--

"Hey Ashe!"

Ashe yelped and whipped around to see Annette skipping up from the greenhouse, something suspiciously book-shaped in her arms. His eyes went wide with horror. "A-Annette!" he shouted, pointing at her.

She skidded to a stop, eyes wide. "What, what, what's going on?"

"That book!"

"Oh this?" She pulled it from her chest, and Ashe got a good sight of the cover. It was a textbook. A boring one from the looks of it.

Ashe let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank the Goddess," he said, pressing a hand to his chest.

Annette smiled awkwardly at him, tilting her head. "What did you think it was, silly?"

Ashe hoped he wasn't blushing too red. "U-uh, nothing just…" He sighed. "I lost a book… have you seen one anywhere?"

Annette hummed and tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, book, book, book…" Her eyes widened, and she grinned. "Oh! I do remember seeing one just lying around in the knight's hall. It wasn't too big, a little novel, with a pretty picture on the cover?"

Ashe lit up, clasping his hands together. "That's it! Thank you, Annie, I'll have to treat you to something later!"

He rushed off, waving behind him as he went. But he couldn't help a nagging thought at the back of his head. What on earth would his book be doing in the knight's hall?

* * *

The knight's hall always smelled like sweat and metal and dirt, an undercut of smoke from the roaring fireplace. It was hard to stand in there for too long, but at least it was far too small for more than one or two people to train there at once. Ashe was grateful for that. The less foot traffic, the less likely someone would see him stealing his book away.

He expected to either find his book immediately or have to dig through the extensive collection on the back wall to find it. He just hoped his search wouldn’t take too long either way. He couldn't bear the thought of someone else finding it and teasing him. Sure it wasn't the kind he usually read, but it wasn't bad to enjoy something sappy and romantic once in a while right?

He sighed. Yeah right. He couldn't imagine a single one of his classmates letting him off without even a giggle.

Well. Maybe Dedue. He was nice. And Ashe had never heard him giggle.

He made it through the doors of the knight's hall, prepared to make a beeline for the books, but he stopped in his tracks.

Instead of the usual training and sword clashing, he saw Dimitri, back turned to him and arms raised as if holding an invisible lover. He took quick, careful steps, humming, "One, two, three," to himself as he moved.

Ashe stared for a good few seconds before he realized what he was seeing. Was Dimitri… dancing? Alone?

Oh. Oh, he shouldn't be watching this! Dimitri would be so embarrassed, and--

"Ashe!"

Ashe yelped as Dimitri turned to face him, arms still raised. The prince usually looked so elegant and poised, but now his face was red with a blush. He hastily clasped his hands behind his back, looking away. "I-I didn't realize you were--"

"I-it was only for a--"

"I'm practicing for the--"

"I'm looking for my--"

They both stopped at the same time, staring at each other. And then Ashe bowed his head. "I'm so sorry, Your Highness, I should have knocked."

"Oh Ashe… nonsense, it's just a bit of silly dancing." Ashe looked up at Dimitri. He was still blushing, but he had a gentle, benevolent smile. That smile always made Ashe feel safe, in a weird way. Dimitri was his future king, and he had a kindness to him that Ashe knew would serve their country well. It was reassuring. "What brings you to the knight's hall anyway? In for a bit of training?"

Ashe flushed, looking away in a hurry. How could he tell Dimitri what he was really looking for? And besides, Dimitri was so nice, Ashe knew he'd offer to help look for it, and he couldn't have the prince doing anything so lowly as search for a cheesy romance novel.

"N-not exactly," he murmured. He glanced over towards the fireplace, but he couldn't see a book anywhere. Maybe Annette had been mistaken. "I should go--"

"Wait, Ashe!" Dimitri exclaimed before he could take off running.

Ugh, Ashe couldn't ignore a direct order like that! As much as it pained him, he turned back to Dimitri, wringing his hands. "Y-yes, Your Highness?"

Dimitri sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're not here for training, so surely there's a reason. Were you perhaps in search of someone?"

Ashe bit his lip and looked at the floor, at the tips of his boots clicking nervously together. "M-more like… some_ thing _," he admitted.

"Aha!" Dimitri exclaimed, making Ashe look up in surprise. "Perfect. Then Ashe I would propose a deal to you."

Ashe squinted suspiciously at him. "A… deal?"

Dimitri blushed a little redder and lowered his arms. "Well… the White Heron Ball is coming up soon and as the Prince of Faerghus, I'll be expected to attend."

Ashe could practically feel the color draining from his face. Was Dimitri… was he asking him to the ball? The very idea made him want to curl up into a ball and disappear. He could never go to the ball with someone like Dimitri, he was just a commoner--

"As you can see I've been practicing my dancing but, ahem, it would go far easier with a suitable partner…"

Ashe blinked at him owlishly for a moment. That… didn't sound like an invitation to the ball. "Your… Highness?"

Dimitri blushed redder, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Well if you're in search of a missing item, I thought perhaps I could help you find it--"

"No, no--"

"And in return you could help me practice for the ball."

Ashe was sure he'd gone red from head to toe. Help Dimitri practice? Well… he did like helping people… and he wanted nothing more than to be of service to his prince…

But…

"B-but I…" He bit his lip, wringing his hands again. "Your Highness, I'm afraid I'm not very good at dancing," he admitted. "No one ever… no one ever taught me."

Dimitri went quiet at that, but Ashe felt him take a step closer. He looked up to see Dimitri smiling that benevolent smile again. So much like a prince from a fairy tale. Or maybe even the nobleman from that book…

Ashe shoved that thought down deep.

"All the better, Ashe," he insisted. "I can't expect all my partners to be proficient, and seeing as you're so small, it'll be easier for me to lead anyway."

_ Seeing as you're so small. _ Somehow those words made Ashe's stomach flutter strangely. He swallowed the feeling and tried not to huff. Yes he was rather small, but there was no need to comment on it that way.

He refrained from crossing his arms indignantly. "A-are you sure you wouldn't rather ask--"

"I already asked Dedue," Dimitri sighed. "He refused. He's not very comfortable with Fodlan's dances, you see. And Sylvain is… Sylvain. Annette is far too eager, Ingrid will undoubtedly ruin my toes stepping on them. Felix…"

They looked at each other and then mutually nodded. There was no doubt what Felix would say if asked.

"Mercedes is my next choice, but well…" Dimitri smiled. "Well, I'm asking you because I think we could both enjoy it. And perhaps you'd learn a few steps along the way. What do you say, Ashe?"

He held out his hand, clad in its cold black gauntlet, an easy smile on his face. Ashe couldn't help smiling back at him. Even if Dimitri was completely and totally and absolutely off-limits… Ashe couldn't deny he was handsome. Dreamy even. And when he smiled like that, he made it awfully hard to say no.

Ashe cleared his throat, hoping all of those thoughts hadn't been obvious in his expression. "I-I…" He looked at Dimitri's hand and sighed at length before taking it. "I'm happy to help, Your Highness. B-but I can find my book on my own!"

Dimitri seemed to freeze for just a moment, his eyes going wide, and then his smile trembled. "Ah, a b-book, that's… well, no matter, I-I hope you find it soon, Ashe." He let go of Ashe's hand a little too quickly, clasping his behind his back again and scooting around Ashe. "Perhaps we can meet tomorrow, after the Professor's lecture? I'm excited, can't wait, see you then!"

With that he sped off down the hall, and Ashe watched his cape flutter behind him. He sighed deeply. What had he just gotten himself into?

* * *

Ashe almost didn’t go. After the Professor ended her lecture that day, he went straight to his dorm, searching from top to bottom for his book, but as he sat surrounded by loose parchment paper and scattered feather pens, he realized it probably wasn’t wise to avoid his commitment.

Dimitri was so strange to him… He supposed he admired that he was so kind to people lesser than him. That was a sign he’d make a good king, when the day came. He’d be the kind of king that reached out to kids like him, made them feel special and wanted. Maybe he’d even build an orphanage in Gaspard someday! Ashe liked the thought of that very much.

But…

Ashe sighed, picking up the stuff he’d strewn about his room. For all his kindness, Dimitri was entirely improper. Asking someone like Ashe to help him practice dancing! Why couldn’t he just ask… Oh, Ashe didn’t know… Professor Manuela! She was the dance instructor after all, wasn’t she?

It wasn’t until he was halfway to the knight’s hall that Ashe realized he was going at all. He’d reminded himself over and over that he couldn’t just ignore the prince’s request. He remembered the disaster that resulted from it weeks ago, struggling to address Dimitri in a more casual manner until Dimitri all but gave up on trying. They’d agreed on mutual respect. That was fine enough for Ashe, he supposed.

But did that make them friends? Friends enough to practice dancing together?

Maybe Ashe was thinking too hard about it.

He paused at the door to the knight’s hall, taking a deep breath. If he wanted to turn around, now was the time. Dimitri hadn’t seen him yet, and he could feign illness. He’d been a little frantic in class, asking everyone if they’d seen a little brown book anywhere, so maybe he could write that off as a fever?

But even the thought of lying to Dimitri made Ashe feel sick to his stomach. He sighed deeply and opened the door. Maybe Dimitri would see what a terrible dancer Ashe was and insist they never try again.

When Ashe stepped through the doors, he saw Dimitri again, poring over a book with wide eyes and a hand on his chin. He sat at the table before the fireplace, the warm light flickering over him and making his golden hair shine softly. Ashe swallowed hard, glancing at his book. He wondered what kind of stories could fascinate the prince so. Maybe it wasn’t a story at all? He knew Dedue had a liking for poetry, and Mercedes read religious texts, well, religiously. Maybe Dimitri was interested in… oh, who knew. Strategy textbooks?

Ashe cleared his throat, and Dimitri jumped nearly half a mile, his hand tightening on the book to the point of crunching the binding. He gasped and looked at the book in horror. “Oh no,” he murmured, hurriedly closing it and stuffing it in his bag. “S-suppose I’ll… have to buy a new copy for the l-library.”

He smiled sheepishly at Ashe, and Ashe couldn’t help thinking it was endearing. It was no secret Dimitri sometimes couldn’t control his own strength, and that embarrassed flush on his face every time he broke something…

Ashe coughed lightly and hid it in his hand, looking away. What was he thinking, staring like that? “I-I’m sorry I’m late, I was…” He didn’t know what to say.

“Still looking for your book?” Dimitri asked, rising to his feet and brushing off his legs.

Ashe nodded, thankful for an excuse that at least wasn’t a lie. He walked backwards until he stood in the pit of the training floor. “It’s okay, I’m sure I’ll find it. W-would you like to start practicing? I have cooking duty tonight, s-so--”

“I promise we’ll be finished by then,” Dimitri said, that easy smile on his face. He came to stand before Ashe, hands on his hips. “All right, well… what is your experience in dancing?”

Ashe thought about it for a moment. The only real dancing he’d ever done was with his little siblings when they were still young. Hand in hand, spinning and jumping up and down in a circle. Well… he supposed that wasn’t _ real _ dancing. Not like Dimitri’s dancing. Not elegant and noble.

“None,” he whispered, playing with the hem of his jacket.

“Ah, no matter,” Dimitri said, reaching out his hand to Ashe. Ashe stared at it for a long moment before glancing up at Dimitri, who smiled. “Go on, I’ll show you the basics.”

Ashe bit his lip and looked at Dimitri’s hand again before deciding he really did want to help Dimitri out. Even if not from a commoner to his liege, then as a fellow classmate. He laid his hand in Dimitri’s own, his comically small and pale against the black of Dimitri’s gauntlet. He wondered why he wore those all the time, weren’t they uncomfortable?

And then Dimitri pulled him forward.

He smacked face first into Dimitri’s chest, and when he looked up, their faces were entirely too close. Ashe spluttered, wriggling back a step or two. Dimitri smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry, Ashe, I guess I pulled a little too hard. Um, if you’ll allow me?”

He reached out with his other hand, and Ashe nodded sheepishly, chewing on his lower lip as Dimitri put it on his waist. “All right, and if you’ll put your hand on my shoulder?” Dimitri asked, all pleasant and pleased as if there was nothing improper about this at all.

Ashe swallowed hard. He could practically hear Lonato’s voice, reminding him the duty of a lesser noble--he never called him a commoner, though that’s what he really was. He would say, _ Ashe, the Gaspard family has no crest. We have money and land and some power, of course, but without a crest, we are to pay our deepest respect to those that do. _

Dimitri had a crest. The Crest of Blaiddyd. It was a powerful one, Ashe knew, and when he looked up and met Dimitri’s eyes, he could see it glowing deep within. He hesitantly put his hand on his shoulder. Respectfully.

Dimitri smiled down at him, and Ashe was acutely aware of how much taller he was. The top of Ashe’s head barely met his shoulder. Why were all of his classmates so tall?

“All right, well, let’s begin,” Dimitri said. Ashe nodded, and Dimitri took a deep breath. “Now, you’ve never danced a waltz, Ashe?”

Ashe shook his head. He couldn’t stop staring up at Dimitri. He looked like he was enjoying this, and they hadn’t even started. Maybe Dimitri really liked dancing?

Dimitri nodded. “Then we’ll begin with a box step. Let’s see. I’m going to step forward with my left foot, and you’ll step back with your right.”

Ashe nodded and immediately looked down. His raggedy boots looked so awful compared to Dimtiri’s armored ones, always so shiny and smart. He was so distracted by it that when Dimitri stepped forward he scrambled to step back. He stumbled against Dimitri’s chest.

“Ack!” he exclaimed, stepping back. “I-I’m sorry.”

Dimitri shook his head, his hand tightening on Ashe’s waist to keep him from running off. “It’s all right to make mistakes,” he said. “This is your first attempt after all.”

Ashe looked up at him again, feeling his face burn with a blush. “Th-thank you, Your Highness…” He looked back down at their feet and moved to make sure his were as close together as Dimitri’s. “Um let’s… let’s start again.”

Dimitri’s hand squeezed his side, and though Ashe was sure it was meant to be reassuring, it only made him tense more. This time, however, when Dimitri stepped forward, Ashe stepped back in time. “Very good,” Dimitri praised, and Ashe felt a nervous giggle start in the back of his throat.

He struggled to swallow it back, only letting out a choked little sound as he looked back up at Dimitri with a smile. “Okay, what’s next?”

Dimitri’s eyes seemed to shine as he looked down at Ashe. “All right, now step back with your other foot, keep it apart from your first.”

Ashe looked down at his feet again, following Dimitri’s lead. “Now slide your right foot to your left,” he advised, and Ashe did as he asked. “Step forward, one and then the other, keep them apart.”

Ashe followed his lead, a determined look overcoming his face. He didn’t know when he forgot that he was so close to a prince, just following Dimitri’s instructions and enjoying the task of learning. One step back, another, slide. One step forward, another, slide. Before he knew it, they were spinning around the dusty training grounds, and Ashe was smiling.

He remembered suddenly, a vague idea of a memory. It wasn’t from so long ago… Eight years old, watching Christophe in his bedroom, spinning with his arms raised as if to hold someone close. _ Ashe, you scared me! Come here, why don’t I teach you how to dance? _

He’d been too scared back then. He ran away.

“Ow,” Dimitri gasped, the sharpness of the sound breaking Ashe from his reverie.

He jolted in surprise realizing he’d kicked Dimitri in the shin. “O-oh, Goddess, Your Highness, I’m--”

Dimitri smiled, despite the pained squint to his eyes, his hand tight on Ashe’s waist. “No, no, it’s fine, it’s--” He hissed and let go of Ashe’s waist to rub at his leg. “Were you distracted?”

Ashe flushed and looked away, his hand sliding off of Dimitri’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I just… I remembered…”

Dimitri paused his rubbing, tilting his head in curiosity. When he did that, he looked endearingly like a puppy. Ashe let go of his hand and backed away. “Are you--”

“I should get to cooking duty,” Ashe said. He didn’t want to talk about it. He tried hard not to think about Christophe too much. The memory had taken him by surprise. “Let’s practice later.”

He rushed out of the room before Dimitri could stop him.

* * *

Of all people to approach him in the cathedral, he didn’t expect Dedue. Ashe didn’t always spend time there--in fact it had been a month or two at least since he last sat in a pew, eyes wet with tears and hands clasped in prayer.

At least he wasn’t crying this time. His hands were clasped, but that was all.

The memory of Christophe had shaken him more than he’d expected. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten that. It was such a simple little memory, being too embarrassed to be caught staring that he ran away from his new brother. It was nothing to be upset over.

But even so he was. Upset that maybe he could have learned to dance once. Would he have taken the chance back then, if he’d known what he knew now?

Dedue standing at the end of the pew caught his attention. He smiled sheepishly at him, wringing his hands together. He so rarely got to really speak with Dedue, but he treasured their conversations. “W-what brings you here?” Ashe asked, making to scoot over so Dedue could sit beside him.

“My apologies,” Dedue said, inclining his head. “I’m not here to worship. I’m here to deliver a message from His Highness.”

Ashe blinked at him in surprise. He’d moved his hand as if to pat the pew, but he slowly pulled it back to his lap. “Oh,” he hummed. He looked away, crossing his ankles underneath the pew. It had been a few days since their first training session. He’d imagined they could do it once a week, but maybe that was foolish. After all, they had a little less than a month left until the ball, and surely the prince needed to practice constantly. He was the face of Faerghus, and it wouldn’t do for him to be found lacking in any aspect.

Still, Ashe wished he didn’t have to go. He felt so awkward and wrong around Dimitri. He felt like a simple little daisy next to his elegant, trailing jasmine. Sweet-scented and beloved.

Ashe picked at his nails absentmindedly. “In the knight’s hall, yes?” he asked.

“Yes,” Dedue said. When Ashe looked up at him, he hesitated, just for a moment. “He asked for me to escort you. If you are willing to join him this day.”

Ashe figured he should be grateful he was technically being given a choice. If he wanted to change his mind now, he had a chance. Just say, _ Quite, quite Dedue, well I'm sorry to say I'm not feeling it this good day _.

He giggled to himself and then sighed. He couldn't do that. Besides, Dimitri didn't deserve to suffer because he couldn't suck it up. He nodded at length and rose to his feet, following as Dedue led him out of the cathedral. As they walked, he studied Dedue’s broad back. He was always so quiet… Ashe couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all.

He jogged to catch up and walk beside Dedue. "Um… Did His Highness tell you about… you know..."

"About practicing?" Dedue finished. He didn’t look at Ashe. "He did."

Ashe nodded again, grabbing onto the ties of his hood. Sometimes he wished he could pull it on and tighten it so nothing but his nose poked through. He didn't though. That seemed childish. Even if he was embarrassed anyone--even Dedue--knew about his dancing with Dimitri.

"He says you're a natural."

Ashe pulled too hard on the ties and his hood tightened around his throat. He gasped as he pulled it loose, looking up at Dedue in surprise. "What? B-but I kicked him in the shin!"

Dedue raised an eyebrow at him, and for a moment Ashe wondered if that was a wise thing to confess to the tall, muscular man devoted to serving Dimitri in any way necessary. He swallowed hard and looked away. "It was an accident…" he mumbled.

"I'm aware," Dedue said. Ashe breathed a sigh of relief, and crossed his arms behind his back. "I do not know much about Fodlan's dances."

Ashe nodded, looking up at Dedue with a little smile. He spoke so rarely about his homeland, but whenever he did, he got this faraway look on his face that Ashe just found mesmerizing. "Were the dances different in Duscur?"

Dedue nodded. "Perhaps I will tell you about them some time," he said, and then abruptly stopped in his tracks. "We're here."

Ashe looked over to see that they were indeed. He sighed and smiled up at Dedue as he opened the door. "Thank you for walking me."

Dedue inclined his head, the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips. "You're welcome."

Ashe waved through the doorway as he walked away before turning to see Dimitri staring at him. He felt his face go hot. "Y-Your Highness--"

Dimitri gasped, looking away quickly. His face seemed to be going red as well. "I-I didn't mean to stare," he apologized, clasping his hands shyly. "I didn't… I didn't realize you and Dedue were so close."

Ashe blinked at him for a second. So close? He supposed they were close, compared to their first days at the Academy. Back then he'd been terrified of the man. He was big and strong with an intimidatingly stern expression. Ashe was small and soft and fragile, as much as he hated it. He knew not to mess with things that could hurt him.

But Dedue was gentle. He liked that about him.

He shrugged as he walked towards Dimitri. "I like being around him," he admitted with a sheepish smile. "He's been teaching me to cook Duscur food, and he taught me how to grow violets."

Dimitri smiled a little down at him as he came closer. "Do you… like violets?"

Ashe knew his eyes were sparkling. He _ loved _ violets. So pretty and unassuming. Gaspard castle was surrounded by a field of them, their vivid purple like a painting across the land. He remembered as a child he was sure he'd never see something so beautiful again.

He hadn't yet.

Ashe bit his lip and looked away. "Yes, I… they're my favorite."

Dimitri reached out his hand to Ashe, and Ashe looked up at him. Dimitri's smile was dazzling as usual. "I enjoy observing flowers, but I'm afraid I'm simply no good at caring for them," he said as Ashe took his hand. "I've seen you often in the greenhouse however. Perhaps you could show me the ropes?"

Ashe bit his lip harder as Dimitri pulled him against him--gentler than the first time. He didn't know if he liked the idea of spending so much time with Dimitri. What would people think, the prince spending all his time with a common boy?

Dimitri put his hand on his waist. Ashe put his hand on his shoulder. "Of course, there's no pressure--"

"Oh no, Your Highness," Ashe said, shaking his head. He was looking at Dimitri's chest instead of his face. "If that's what you'd like, I'd be happy to help."

Dimitri sighed, and Ashe saw the way his chest moved at the breath. He glanced up to see Dimitri looking to the side, a bit of a pout on his lips. "Of course," he said, then Ashe watched as he forced a bright smile. He was strangely good at it. If Ashe hadn't seen him pouting a moment before, he would have thought Dimitri was chipper as a crisp, clear morning. "You know, Ashe I'm sorry I haven't learned more about you."

He looked at Ashe with that bright, fake smile, and for some reason it made Ashe hopelessly sad. He didn't… he didn't want Dimitri to fake smile with him. He wondered if all his smiles were masks.

"I…" Ashe breathed. He took a sharp breath as Dimitri started to gently lead him into a dance. One, two, three, one, two, three. He looked down at their feet, making extra sure not to kick him this time. "Well what would you like to know?"

Dimitri hummed thoughtfully, moving as easy as water, spinning Ashe around the dusty dirt floor. "I'm afraid I'd like to know a lot… perhaps… well, we're dancing a waltz. Do you have a favorite?"

Ashe looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed. "A favorite waltz?"

There was a twitch to Dimitri's lips, and suddenly his smile felt genuine. Ashe could see it in his eyes, a warmth, a peace. "Yes, the music I mean."

Ashe smiled a little. He couldn't help it. Then he looked away. He actually didn't know any. Music was just music. Well, he _ liked _music, but…

He remembered…

Lonato at the piano. His fingers dancing across the keys as he played a lovely, tentative song. Christophe leaning against the piano and singing along, his voice as clear as a bell. There were no lyrics, but he sang anyway, and Ashe ran in and crowed along like an overeager cat.

"Clair de Lune," Ashe said. He blushed and hunched his shoulders. "I-I don't know if that's a waltz though…"

Dimitri laughed pleasantly, his hand squeezing Ashe's side. "Either way it's a beautiful song. Debussy, right? I'm partial to Satie myself."

Ashe didn't know those names but he smiled nonetheless. Then Dimitri said, "If only there were a piano here, I could play for you."

Ashe whipped his head up to stare at him, his mouth open in shock. "Y-you--I--"

Dimitri laughed sweetly, his hand squeezing Ashe's. "Are you all right?"

Ashe flushed warm, but he didn't dare tug his hand from Dimitri's. "I just… Oh I shouldn't be surprised that you're a pianist--"

"And why shouldn't you?" Dimitri asked, tilting his head in that puppy dog way of his.

Ashe bit his lip. "W-well… you're royalty, so of course you're good at--"

"Ah, I wouldn't say I'm good per se, just capable," Dimitri said, a sigh to his voice. "I'm afraid I'm terrible with delicate things like music and…" He looked down at his and Ashe's feet, still moving in time to a soundless beat.

Ashe shook his head, frowning. "Your Highness, you're a wonderful dancer."

Dimitri smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes again. "Well… may I confess something Ashe?"

Ashe blinked at him. Confess? What could a prince have to confess to him?

"Of course, Your Highness."

"I… I'm quite proficient at dancing, I don't really need practice with that. I'm just awful with small, fragile people and I thought…"

Ashe blushed. "You thought I'd be good… practice?"

A pink flush rose on the apples of Dimitri's cheeks, and he ducked his head as if he could hide it. But they were so close. It only served to bring his face closer. "That sounds awful. I didn't intend to use you as a target board or some such--"

"I-I'm not as fragile as that," Ashe said, a little indignant. Dimitri was very strong, and Ashe was nearly a foot shorter than him, but he wasn't the binding of a book. "You're welcome to practice with me as much as you like."

Saying the words brought even more warmth to Ashe's face, and he felt it go down his neck and over his ears as well. It was innocent, but it didn't take much to sound… indecent. It reminded him almost of the thief from that book he'd lost. Sly and sleek with his double entendres. Ashe was nothing like that.

Dimitri didn't seem to notice, his smile turning grateful. "I appreciate that Ashe. And you've gotten quite proficient with the box step. Too easy perhaps?"

Ashe realized that throughout their conversation they hadn't stopped moving. It was so intuitive, moving to Dimitri's lead. He'd forgotten they were dancing at all.

He smiled a little. "M-maybe…"

Dimitri suddenly stopped, and Ashe skidded to one too, just barely managing not to collide into his chest. "Then, I'd be honored to teach you more, if you'll let me."

Ashe shook his head, but Dimitri let go of him and waved off his protest. "If it makes you more willing, it'll be more for my sake than yours. The box step is dreadfully boring without any music."

Ashe put his hands behind his back, rocking shyly on his heels. He actually did want to learn more. Dimitri was a good teacher. And if it was more for Dimitri than him, then there was no real qualm right? He was just a humble servant to his prince.

He smiled then and rubbed his arm. "Ok. I'd like that, Your Highness."

* * *

Ashe stood nervously in the center of the knight's hall, wringing his hands. He never got there before Dimitri. Usually it was empty for an hour or two while they practiced, but today, there were people training, a couple of knights having a casual conversation beside the fireplace.

Ashe bit his lip, looking back and forth. The room was small enough that he knew he couldn’t miss Dimitri if he were there. He leaned forward a bit to look up at the collection of books, wondering if maybe Dimitri had climbed the ladder to grab one.

But at that moment, someone grabbed his shoulder.

He yelped in surprise, whipping around to see Dimitri behind him, raising his hands in front of him as if to calm a scared animal. “Your Highness!” Ashe gasped, putting a hand over his heart. “Y-you scared me!”

Dimitri laughed sweetly, waving his hands. “My apologies!” He gestured around the room. “I know it’s a little busier here than usual. I decided we should practice… somewhere else today. If that’s all right with you.”

Ashe squinted at him, wary, his mind flipping through the possibilities. Where else could they practice? There was a tournament in the training grounds--and regardless Felix would be there, and as much as he admired Felix, he wasn’t keen on being laughed at for dancing with a “boar.” They could go to one of their rooms, but he’d sooner die of shame. Where in the monastery wasn’t crawling with students or teachers?

But when Dimitri said, “Would you follow me, Ashe?” he did so without question.

Dimitri led him down through the courtyard, through the stables, all the way saying, “It took a little convincing to make sure the place would be empty, but Dedue was a great help as always.”

Ashe had to jog a little to keep pace with him, Dimitri’s long legs easily striding along. Ashe was so jealous of it. What he wouldn’t give to be a little taller. He knew he wasn’t exactly small by any fault of his own--bad genes and poor nutrition--but he certainly wished there were something he could do to change it. No matter how hard he trained it seemed like he couldn’t match Dimitri’s strength or skill.

But somehow, that only made him admire Dimitri more. If he weren’t a prince, he’d surely be a knight like from his stories. After all, that was how his ancestor King Loog started off!

“Oh, you must be excited to learn more today,” Dimitri said suddenly, making Ashe look up at him in surprise.

He realized his cheeks ached from smiling so wide. He put his hands over his face. Goddess, what was wrong with him? Had he really been imagining it? Dimitri astride a pure white steed, regal blue cape flowing behind him…

“Y-yes, Your Highness,” he said, looking away and feeling his cheeks flush warmer.

Dimitri didn’t seem to notice his blush, grinning brightly and turning to walk backwards in front of Ashe as they neared their destination. They’d made it past the marketplace and the fishing pond, and now Ashe realized Dimitri had taken a turn towards the greenhouse. Dedue stood out front, seemingly keeping watch.

“I know you enjoy flowers, so I thought perhaps…” Dimitri stopped and gestured towards the door. Dedue nodded and stepped aside to let them in. “Practicing here could be fun. Just for today at least.”

Ashe blinked at the doors and then at Dimitri. Had he… had he really made arrangements just so they could practice in the greenhouse? That was…

That was…

_ So sweet _.

Ashe smiled slow and soft, up at Dimitri. “That sounds like a wonderful idea, Your Highness.”

Dimitri’s grin was nothing short of delighted, and he offered his hand to Ashe again. Ashe took it, allowing himself to be led through the doors. “Thank you, Dedue!” Dimitri said as they made it inside.

It really was empty, nothing around them but gorgeous flowers that reminded Ashe of home. Pretty yellow-white primrose, pale purple heather--and violets. With their deep purpley blue petals and golden centers. It was Ethereal moon, and the cold had swept down from Faerghus even to the monastery, just biting enough for those flowers to thrive. Ashe was grateful for it. The plants were so plentiful that they blocked most of the windows, and Ashe felt isolated from the outside.

Isolated save for Dimitri, who held out his hand for his. “Would you like to lead this time?” Dimitri asked.

Ashe flushed red at the very thought of putting his hand anywhere near Dimitri’s waist. He shook his head hard, blushing even brighter at the sound of Dimitri’s laugh. “All right, all right,” he said, taking Ashe’s hand gently in his own and setting it on his shoulder. “Then, I’m going to show you something a little different. Have you heard of the Adrestian waltz?”

Ashe shook his head. Dimitri pulled him close, gently, and put a hand on Ashe’s waist. It was so firm and strong. Ashe curled his toes nervously in his boots, looking at Dimitri’s chest instead of his face. “It’s the first dance I ever learned,” Dimitri said, and Ashe wondered if he imagined his voice becoming softer, quieter. More intimate. “I want to show it to you. It's similar to what we've been doing, but it’s a little faster paced. Do you think you can keep up?”

Ashe looked up, furrowing his brow. Did he think he could keep up? What kind of question was that?

He squinted at Dimitri and smirked, despite the nerves in his stomach. “Of course, Your Highness,” he said, hoping the tone of his voice was enough to show Dimitri his challenge was accepted.

Dimitri smirked back, and Ashe wondered if their faces were entirely too close.

But then Dimitri squeezed his waist and stood straighter, as if to say it was time to begin. “All right, we’ll start with the reverse turn.”

Dimitri’s voice took on an authoritative tone, instructing Ashe’s movements. “Start on your right, swing your left around, and slide--very good, Ashe.”

Ashe couldn’t bite back his giggle at being praised in time, the sound soft but loud in the near silent room--but to Ashe’s surprise, Dimitri didn’t laugh at him or tease him for sounding childish. His hand squeezed Ashe’s side, and he said, “All right, we’ll do the same here, but in reverse.”

They repeated the motion on the opposite foot, left, swing, slide this time--then again, right, swing, slide. It really was faster than the simple box step they’d been doing before, but with Dimitri’s guidance, Ashe found himself keeping up easily. They twirled around the greenhouse, Ashe grinning down at his feet and then up at Dimitri. “I might be getting the hang of this!”

Dimitri grinned down at him too, then suddenly, his hand gripped Ashe’s a little tighter. “Would you like to try a turn?”

“A turn?”

Dimitri smiled, and there was something sly to it that Ashe couldn’t quite put his finger on. It made a shiver run down his spine unbidden. “It’s quite simple, no need to be nervous,” Dimitri said. “Let’s go back to a box step for a moment.”

Ashe did as he said, and they did that for a moment before Dimitri raised his arm and let go of Ashe’s waist. “All right, now left foot forward, and right foot slide--”

Ashe slowly followed his direction, carefully turning under Dimitri's arm and then coming to face him again. Dimitri tugged him back towards his chest and they continued their box step. "See, that wasn't so hard," Dimitri said.

Ashe nodded, biting his lip. He was right, it wasn't so hard. And it honestly was the first time he'd really felt like they were dancing together. He squeezed Dimitri's shoulder--a light squeeze, a nervous one--and said, "C-can we… can we do it again?"

Dimitri seemed to brighten at the words. "Of course. A little faster this time?"

Ashe nodded, so Dimitri led him, lightly humming, "One, two, three. One, two, three."

Ashe spun under Dimitri's arm, seeing all the flowers and the warm sunlight through the windows, and then he was facing Dimitri again, and his smile and pale blue eyes were brightest of all.

Ashe stared at him as he put his hand back on his shoulder, as Dimitri put his hand back on his waist. "You're a natural," Dimitri whispered.

Ashe wasn't sure why they were whispering, but he whispered back, "I just… have a great teacher."

He expected the words to make Dimitri smile, but instead it made him frown. His brows furrowed and he glanced away. Ashe felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. “Your--”

“Perhaps we should take a break, Ashe,” Dimitri said, his grip on Ashe weakening before he pulled away.

Ashe lowered his hands, wringing them as Dimitri backed off, walking towards one of the raised beds and cautiously sitting on the edge. He all but collapsed once he could tell it would support his weight, his shoulders slumping as he let out a deep sigh. Ashe just watched for a long moment.

It wasn’t as if he’d never seen Dimitri this way. He had a strange way of being fine and dandy one moment and then far away the next, frustrated and quiet.

Ashe rubbed his arm nervously. When Dimitri got that faraway look on his face, Ashe always wondered where he went. It reminded Ashe of those days he couldn’t think of anything but the people he’d lost, and he’d bury himself in a book or sit in the cathedral and listen to the organ play so loud it drowned everything else out.

Was that where Dimitri was? Was his heart broken too?

Ashe nearly facepalmed. Ugh, of course it was, he’d… he’d lost his entire family right in front of him, of course he was…

Ashe cautiously took a step towards him. So rarely was he in a position to comfort Dimitri, but now that he was, maybe he could do some good. He took a seat on the floor near him, crossing his legs. Dimitri didn’t even seem to notice, staring a hole into the floor.

What could he say? He knew talking about whatever he could think of usually got his mind off things, at least long enough to forget why he was upset in the first place. But all Ashe could think about was how nice it was to dance with Dimitri. He almost felt guilty for enjoying it as much as he did… After all, he was a commoner, Dimitri was a prince… It was scandalous, wasn’t it? For him to even have the honor of dancing with him?

But Dimitri seemed to enjoy it. Ashe remembered him saying this Adrestian waltz was the first he’d ever learned. Maybe…?

“You um… Your Highness, you’re a wonderful dancer,” he whispered. “Y-you must have learned from--”

“Don’t,” Dimitri snapped. He didn’t even look at Ashe, staring in a dead glare off into the middle distance. His voice was so cold, it hurt.

Ashe gaped at him, and then closed his mouth. His eyes burned with tears. Why… why had he… he shouldn’t have… Ugh he was so stupid.

He pushed himself clumsily to his feet, blinking back tears. “I-I’m sorry, I should--”

He rushed past Dimitri, ignoring when he called, “Ashe, wait.”

He only stopped when Dimitri’s hand caught his wrist and pulled him back. His grip was so tight, nearly bruising, and Ashe gasped in pain. Dimitri gasped too, immediately letting go, but even so, momentum brought them face to face again, staring at each other.

Dimitri’s eyes were bright, brows furrowed deep over them. He looked like he was going to cry, and it made Ashe tense up with anxiety. He didn’t want to make Dimitri cry, ever. “I’m sorry,” Dimitri whispered. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you…”

Ashe bit his lip to stop it from trembling. “I shouldn’t have--”

“No, you were just being kind, Ashe,” Dimitri said. He looked at the floor between them. “You’re always so kind…” He sighed at length and took a slow seat on the lip of the raised bed again. “I don’t want to… talk about my dance instructor. It was… Well, an old friend, I suppose. But we’re not friends anymore. I don’t know what we are.”

Ashe didn’t know what to say to that. He rubbed at his wrist, aching from Dimitri’s strong grip. He sank to the floor again and said, “Friends are… hard.”

That was really all he could say about it. Even after being at the Academy for so many months, he wasn’t sure he could call all of his classmates friends. They were nice to him of course and included him in stuff but… well, everyone seemed to have history with everyone else. Annette and Mercedes knew each other from school; Felix, Sylvain, Ingrid, and Dimitri were childhood friends. _ Dedue _ and Dimitri, even, their relationship too complex for Ashe to even wrap his head around. And he was just… Ashe.

He held his hands tight together in his lap.

“They are indeed,” Dimitri said, a shaky smile on his face. It wasn’t fake, but it wasn’t happy. More like a grimace. Ashe scooted closer, without even noticing. Dimitri did though, and he patted the spot beside him. “Come here.”

Ashe hesitated, but he did as he asked, perching like a bird ready to fly off at the slightest provocation. It wasn’t as if he’d never sat beside Dimitri, in class sometimes or during a meal. But this was different. They were closer, and it felt more intimate. Ashe felt his cheeks warm with blush. “Is dancing… do you enjoy it?” he asked, hoping that Dimitri wasn't forcing their time together. He didn't want it to be forced.

Dimitri smiled a little. This time it felt more genuine. Ashe treasured it. “I do,” he replied. “And do you?”

Ashe smiled too, turning his head away to look at the flowers all around them. “I do. With you, it's…" He stopped and swallowed hard, hoping Dimitri wouldn't pry for him to continue. With Dimitri it was easy. It wasn't scary or embarrassing. He felt so smart and talented, every time Dimitri praised him. The Professor was good at that too but that was… that was different.

To his relief, Dimitri didn't pry. Instead, they went silent again, and though Ashe thought it would be awkward, it was peaceful instead. Usually, when he got too nervous, he babbled on and on about whatever came to mind. He’d talk and talk, filling the silence so he didn’t have to think about how awkward he felt, so none of those awful voices in his head could creep in and tell him what awful company he made.

But with Dimitri, it was strange. He was always nervous near him but… he didn’t feel like he had to fill the spaces between them.

"Your Highness?"

They both looked up to see Dedue leaning through the doorway, an apologetic expression on his face. "It's time to leave."

Dimitri sighed deeply, rising to his feet and offering Ashe a hand to help him up too. Their grip lingered--or at least Ashe was sure it did, for a moment where he couldn't bring himself to let go.

He hid both hands behind his back once they finally did.

"Tomorrow we should return to the knight's hall," Dimitri said, a smile blooming across his face. "I don't think even royalty could convince Seteth to shut down the greenhouse every day."

Ashe giggled a bit despite himself, hiding it behind his hand. "Y-yes, Your Highness," he said, turning away. "I'll um, I'll see you tomorrow!"

He rushed out of the greenhouse, hoping Dimitri couldn't see the uncontrollable grin on his face.

* * *

Everyone was talking about the ball. Even where Ashe sat in the front of the classroom, curled up around his bag and studiously writing in his notebook, he could hear them talking. Annette’s voice echoed over everyone else, “Sylvain, you can’t take three different girls to the ball!”

Ashe smiled to himself and rolled his eyes. Of course Sylvain had three dates lined up for the same event. How would he smooth talk his way out of that one?

“Hey, it’s not like they’ll care,” Sylvain said. “They get to go with _ me _. I’m a once-in-a-lifetime experience.”

“Because once is enough,” Felix and Ingrid said in unison.

Ashe hid a snicker at that, glancing over his shoulder at everyone cackling at Sylvain’s dismay. He looked back at his notebook. He’d surely cleaned his notes up to the point of perfection. Class had only ended a few minutes before, and Ashe knew he and Dimitri were practicing again that night. He wanted to make sure he had everything finished before they met up.

And when he looked back over his shoulder, he saw Dimitri laughing along with his friends.

He smiled so wide when he was with them…

“Well, is anyone here taking an _ actual _date?” Annette asked, giving Sylvain a pointed look.

“Are you?” he muttered back, sitting on top of the table and squinting down at her.

She wrapped an arm firmly around Mercedes’s neck, looking at him with wide, scandalized eyes. “I always go with Mercie to this kind of thing! Since our days at Sorcery school!”

Mercedes giggled, covering her mouth with one dainty hand. “She’s right, we’re inseparable.”

“Do you have a date, Ingrid?” Annette asked.

Ingrid sighed and shrugged, a polite smile on her face. “I thought I should… keep my prospects open.”

“Felix?”

“No.”

“Dedue?”

“No.”

Annette sighed deeply, crossing her arms. “You are all hopeless. Ashe!”

Ashe jolted at being called on. Was she going to scold him for snooping?

But instead she waved him over. “What are you doing all the way over there? Come on!”

Ashe bit his lip, shyly gathering his stuff to make the trek over. Sylvain patted the place on the table beside him, and Ashe took it gratefully. He curled his bag to his stomach. “Hi…”

Annette grinned, leaning over her table at him. “Well?”

He tilted his head. “Well?”

She rolled her eyes, still grinning as ever. “Well, do you have a date?”

Ashe felt his face go hot with a blush. _ Don’t do it _, he thought, but he couldn’t help his eyes flickering towards Dimitri. Luckily, he was too engrossed in a conversation with Ingrid to notice, but Annette caught the flicker. She looked at Dimitri too, and her eyes went wide. “Oh, my Goddess--”

“N-no!” Ashe said quickly, “No, no I don’t, I don’t have a date--”

Annette turned to him, eyes still wide, but before she could say anything, Mercedes said, “That’s such a shame, Ashe!” She looked at him pointedly. “You’re a wonderful boy, I’m surprised no one’s spoken up yet!”

Ashe blushed, curling up tighter. Sylvain slapped his arm around him, yanking him against his side. “Well, Ashe, if you find yourself alone on the dancefloor, just say the word.” Ashe looked up at him, frowning at his exaggerated wink. “For you, I’d come running.”

“Oh, shove off him, Sylvain,” Ingrid groaned, making as if to toss a book at him.

Sylvain let go of Ashe as fast as he could, raising his hands as if to catch it. “I’m just being honest!”

Ashe rolled his eyes at their antics, but he couldn’t deny that he was a little touched. He had always felt out of place amongst his classmates--and sure Sylvain wasn’t exactly sincere about anything--but he liked being joked with. He liked being teased. He smiled, until Annette whipped around and grinned at Dimitri.

“And you, Your Highness? Who are you going with?”

Ashe couldn’t help staring at Dimitri along with everyone else. He felt his heart start to pound in his chest. He hadn’t… he hadn’t even thought about that. Dimitri… but it made sense, didn't it? They were practicing for a reason… Did Dimitri have a date?

Dimitri seemed embarrassed by the sudden attention, everyone’s eyes on him. His smile turned awkward, eyebrows furrowed. “I-I…” He shrugged, looking at his hands clasped in his lap. “I’m afraid I haven’t asked them yet…”

Ashe’s stomach suddenly felt very cold.

Annette screeched, Mercedes gasped along with half the rest of them. Felix rolled his eyes as if he couldn’t be bothered to even be surprised. “Dimitri, you don’t have a lot of time left!” Annette scolded.

Ingrid nodded, putting a hand on his arm. “You should ask them before you’re out of luck. Who’s to say they won’t have a date soon!”

Dimitri smiled sheepishly, his chin falling to his collar, shoulders hunching, the way he did when he was really embarrassed. “Well, I suppose I don’t… but I want everything to be perfect first.”

Mercedes sighed dreamily at the words. “You can be quite the romantic sometimes, Dimitri,” she giggled. “Would we know who this lucky boy is?”

“Well, he’s--” Dimitri’s eyes went wide as she smiled wider. “Oh, Mercedes, I was being vague for a reason!”

She laughed as Annette screeched again. “A boy! That narrows it down! Oh please, please, Dimitri, do we know him?” She clasped her hands together as if in prayer, sticking out her lower lip in an exaggerated pout that only made Dimitri blush brighter. “Please, please, Dimitri, please tell us!”

“Annette, I can’t!” he protested, shaking his head. He looked around at everyone, and Ashe noticed how his gaze skipped over him. “I know you’d all scare him off asking questions.”

Sylvain suddenly put a hand on Dimitri’s shoulder, leaning down towards him. “Well, well, Your Highness, if mystery boy shoots you down, you know who to call--”

“Sylvain!” Ingrid shouted, grabbing him by the ear and dragging him off of Dimitri. “That is enough out of you!”

Around him, everyone laughed at Sylvain’s antics and Felix even seemed ready to join Ingrid in beating him back, just for the fun of it. But Ashe sat there curled around his bag, staring out the door. It wasn’t quite nighttime, the setting afternoon sun making the world outside a soft orange. It was calming, peaceful.

So different from the panicked beating of his heart.

He couldn’t stop thinking. Turning things over and over in his head. Who did Dimitri want to ask to the ball? Surely it wasn’t anyone from their class. Felix was awful to Dimitri, and Sylvain was clearly already taken. Dedue, Ashe knew, would simply refuse, for propriety’s sake. He and Dedue were a lot alike that way. If Dimitri were to ask Ashe, he’d simply turn him down.

But that was just it. Dimitri hadn’t asked Ashe, and he surely wouldn’t. And it wasn’t as if Ashe _ wanted _ him to, of course not! It was already more than enough to have the privilege of dancing with his prince. He didn’t want Dimitri to ask him to the ball, and he certainly didn’t want to go with him.

Except… the thought of him going with someone else… kind of ached.

Ashe knew they were supposed to practice that night, but suddenly he couldn’t stand the thought of it. He couldn’t stand next to Dimitri, stand against him, pretending nothing was wrong. Pretending he couldn’t stop thinking about what exactly they were practicing for--and wondering for who.

He sniffled back tears and slipped off the table as everyone else chanted for Sylvain to break out of Felix’s headlock. He raced past, trying not to look, hoping no one would notice. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, didn’t want to make up an excuse.

He swore as he made it out into the crisp cool air, he could hear Lonato’s voice in his ear. _ Reckless _ , it scolded. _ How could you be so reckless? _

Ashe put his hands over his ears and ran all the way to his dorm.

* * *

"Ow!" Dimitri gasped.

Ashe stumbled into his chest, frantically looking down to see what he'd done. "I-I'm so sorry, Your Highness--"

Dimitri laughed and waved him off, rubbing his shin again. With his metal boots, Ashe would have thought surely his accidental kicks were like a butterfly's wing, but apparently he kicked hard when he was distracted. "It's quite all right, Ashe, I assure you."

He sighed and stood up straight. "You're distracted again," he observed, raising an eyebrow at him in question.

Ashe hurriedly looked away, cursing his short hair for being unable to hide his blush. He was just too pale, his blush was always so bright. "It's nothing, Your Highness, I promise."

It certainly was something though. Ever since he learned of Dimitri's intention to ask someone to the ball, Ashe hadn't stopped thinking about it. Even now, dancing with him, Ashe went over everyone he'd ever seen Dimitri talk to, wondering who had caught his prince's eye, who'd stolen his heart like the thief from that book he'd lost.

He tried to reason that it wasn't _ creepy _ overanalyzing everything Dimitri did, it wasn't creepy, he was just… just curious.

He felt Dimitri's hand brush his waist, and despite himself he jolted at the touch, shaking his head of the thoughts. He was just curious, curious, curious.

He quickly put his hand on Dimitri's shoulder, getting back into position to dance. He couldn't deny it as Dimitri pulled him close. Maybe he was curious, but it wasn't because Dimitri was his prince, or his classmate, or even his friend.

It was because standing close to him like this made his heart pound and his palms sweat. Standing close to him like this made him nervous and happy at the same time. A jealous little part of his brain clung to the feeling and arched its back like a cat at the thought of anyone, _ anyone _ else getting to feel this way about Dimitri--anyone else discovering the firmness of his grip or the warmth of his chest.

And that was really the crutch of it all, wasn't it? Ashe Ubert prided himself on not being stupid. He wouldn't say he was a genius by any means, but he wasn't stupid. And it only took a little common sense to know he'd developed more than a little crush on Crown Prince Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd.

Dimitri tilted his head curiously at him, as if he could tell he was troubled, but Ashe didn't dare look. How could he? How could he face Dimitri, feeling the way he felt? He was so foolish. Reckless.

_ Reckless, reckless _ . He could hear it in Lonato's voice, raised in a shout. _ How could you be so reckless? _ A desperate shout.

"Ashe, are you all right?"

Ashe nodded and forced a smile up at him. He didn't want Dimitri to know--if he questioned him, he wasn't sure he had the courage to lie. "I'm fine--"

"You don't have to lie to me," Dimitri said, and decidedly let his hand fall from Ashe's waist. "In fact, I'd prefer you didn't."

Ashe looked at his feet, curling his arms around himself. He couldn't tell the truth though. He couldn't tell Dimitri he…

"I've just got… a lot on my mind," he admitted.

Dimitri stepped towards him. "Would you like to talk about it?"

His hands touched Ashe's upper arms, so gently that Ashe wished he could snuggle into it. He wanted Dimitri to hug him. He wondered what it'd be like to burrow into his embrace. He loved hugs. It felt like it'd been so long since he'd had a proper one.

"I can't," he whispered, frozen in place. But his lips trembled, and he looked up at Dimitri. "Can we… can we just dance? Um… and talk about anything. Whatever's on your mind. It… it helps me not think about it."

Dimitri blinked at him in surprise and then smiled wide. "Of course. I'd be happy to."

He slid his hands down Ashe's arms to take his hands. He raised one and then his other took his waist. He paused though, before continuing. "Well… I suppose… _ you're _on my mind, Ashe," he said.

Ashe took a sharp breath through his nose. Oh no, this was a _ terrible _distraction. He almost protested, but then Dimitri continued, and the protest wouldn’t come.

"I've noticed that you're quite like a bird. Like a sparrow. You know, small and fragile." His hand pulled Ashe close, and Ashe looked pointedly at their feet. "But you're so light on your feet, it's remarkable."

Ashe looked up at him, surprised at the admiration on his face. Suddenly, Ashe felt Dimitri's hand slide lower. Down his side until it was at his hip. Ashe swallowed hard. Should he say something? Should he push him off? Dimitri paused as if giving him permission to.

But he didn't want to.

It was a tiny rebellion against the voices in his head. He wasn’t forcing this out of Dimitri, wasn’t looking for affection where there was none. He wasn’t being reckless… right?

“I-I suppose that sounds a little forward of me,” Dimitri laughed, and he sounded so genuinely nervous that for a moment, Ashe forgot what he was so worried about. Dimitri’s hand on his hip felt so nice, the weight of it, the curve of it, the strength. Ashe squeezed his shoulder. “I don’t mean anything untoward.”

Ashe nodded, hoping his face hadn’t turned too red with embarrassment. “I know,” he said, and he hoped, too, that his voice didn’t sound too sad.

“I…” Dimitri took a deep breath and started to lead him in a dance. “I’ve really enjoyed dancing with you, Ashe.”

Ashe nodded again, biting his lip. He looked down at their feet. Dimitri had taken to telling him that was poor form, but it was better than looking into Dimitri’s eyes and admitting he wished they didn’t have to stop.

“I’ve noticed you’re like a bird, because… you inspire me to be gentle.”

Ashe breathed in and held it before letting it out. He hoped his hands weren’t trembling. _ You inspire me to be gentle _. Goddess, did Dimitri even know how swoonworthy that sounded? It sounded like something Sylvain would say to get a virgin to sleep with him, but with Dimitri… with Dimitri, Ashe knew he meant it.

Since that day he grabbed his wrist too hard in the greenhouse, he’d never done it again. He’d been so very careful. It was…

Ashe swallowed hard. “Do you like birds, Your Highness?” he asked, and almost grimaced at how forward that sounded.

_ Hey Ashe, you remind me of a bird! _

_ How fascinating, do you like birds? Do you like _ me _ ? _

But if Dimitri noticed, he didn’t acknowledge it. He only said, “I do. They’re another one of those fragile things I used to avoid… But they’re… beautiful.”

The way he said beautiful made Ashe’s heart pound in his chest. He couldn’t help wondering if maybe they were a little too close. Was he imagining the way Dimitri’s hand seemed to curl possessively around his hip, long fingers brushing the small of his back? Was it merely wishful thinking that he could hear Dimitri’s heartbeat as well?

“I was thinking…” Dimitri coughed lightly, and Ashe looked up at him. He’d turned his face away, his cheeks red with a blush. “Well, I was thinking, the only thing different from you and a bird is that you can’t fly.”

Ashe held back a laugh. “You’re right, Your Highness. My one fault.”

Dimitri’s smile was so fond. “That it is.” Suddenly his hand tightened on Ashe’s hip--not enough to hurt. Just enough to remind Ashe that it was there. As if he needed a reminder. “Ashe, do you trust me?”

He didn’t hesitate to say, “Of course I do.”

Dimitri smiled even wider, and then he let go of Ashe’s hand, taking his other hip instead. “Put your other hand on my shoulder.”

Ashe did as he said, trembling with nerves. Dimitri seemed to notice it this time, his hands squeezing around his hips. Ashe thought for a moment that he really had such big hands--and then Dimitri said, “Hold tight,” and lifted him into the air.

Ashe yelped, scrambling to hold on as Dimitri pulled him easily off his feet, spinning him in circles and circles. He felt lighter than air, and though some part of him wanted to squirm and scramble for the safety of solid ground--he looked down at Dimitri instead.

Dimitri was smiling so brightly at him, and it made Ashe’s heart swell with affection. He couldn’t help it. He was so full of joy, it came out in a breathless laugh, loud in the quiet hall.

Dimitri’s expression changed. Ashe caught his breath at the softness of it. There was just something so mesmerizing, longing, beautiful about it… Ashe couldn't put it to words. No one had ever looked at him that way before. “I love it when you laugh, Ashe,” he whispered, holding Ashe’s gaze. “I wish you’d allow me to hear it more often.”

He slowly lowered Ashe, but Ashe slid his arms around his neck before he could set him down. He didn’t know if he’d meant to. But it brought them face to face. Dimitri’s chest against his own. “I like it when you smile like you mean it,” Ashe said, his voice barely above a breath. “I like making you smile.”

It was as if time stopped. Dimitri’s hands moving around until his arms were wrapped around his thighs, keeping him up in the air. His arms around Dimitri’s neck this way, he’d never felt so close to anyone--not like this.

_ Reckless, reckless, reckless _\--

Dimitri’s eyes undoubtedly flickered down from his, and Ashe bit his lips when he realized Dimitri was looking at them. Ashe took the moment to look at Dimitri’s too. Indulging. The soft part of them, the glint of those shiny perfect princely teeth. Ashe’s were all crooked. And Dimitri had no childish freckles. He was so…

Ashe felt Dimitri’s breath against his lips, and his eyes fluttered shut, anticipating it. The moment their lips would meet and ruin every careful wall he’d put up. The reason he couldn’t even dare to call him by his name, no matter how hard he begged.

He’d forgotten. Was it his own heart that said he shouldn’t? Was it something he’d heard? Something he’d been told?

He didn’t care.

“Your--oh.”

Ashe gasped, wriggling in Dimitri’s arms at the sound of Dedue’s voice. The man stood at the door, moonlight bright behind him and leaving him mostly in shadow, but even that couldn’t hide the slight blush on his cheeks. It made Ashe want to die. It wasn’t what it looked like, _ it wasn’t _.

Dimitri let him to his feet, standing straight and proper as soon as they parted, hands clasped behind his back. He cleared his throat. “Y-yes, Dedue, w-what did you--”

“If you would like me to return later--”

“Th-that won’t be--that won’t be n-necessary,” Dimitri insisted, not looking at Ashe. “What did you need?”

Ashe tried not to feel Dedue’s eyes flickering over to him. What was he thinking? Was he judging him? Was he wondering what a simple commoner like him could possibly be doing with the prince of Faerghus? The _ crown _ prince. The future _ king _.

“Goddess, yes, the meeting with the Professor,” Dimitri muttered, pressing a hand to his forehead. He waved at Dedue. “If you’ll inform her I’ll be a little late, I’ll catch up--”

“No,” Ashe whispered. It was loud enough to cause Dimitri to turn to him. But Ashe didn’t look at him. He just shook his head and said, “No, no, please, Your Highness, I’ll…”

His eyes were filled with tears. He tried to blink them away, but they spilled over, and he hastily rubbed them off his cheeks. Goddess, no, he couldn’t let Dimitri see him cry. He ran, squeezing past Dedue, out of the hall, hearing Dimitri shout, “Ashe, please--”

But he was already long gone.

He locked his bedroom door tight the moment he made it inside, curled up on the floor before it, staring at his shoes as he cried over his knees.

He remembered where he'd heard it now.

Remembered being eight years old, hiding at the doorway of Lonato’s office. He remembered Christophe, not much older than Ashe himself was now, standing frozen in place as Lonato screamed, _ How could you be so reckless? This little affair of yours can go nowhere, Christophe. We’re not like them. We have no crest, no money. We can’t offer them anything! Do you really think this could ever last? _

_ No, Father… _

_ You can’t even give him children! _

_ I know, Father… _

_ What were you going to do if his family found out? _

_ I’m not stupid, Father! _

Ashe had never heard Lonato or Christophe angry before. They were always so kind to him and his siblings. But now they were screaming. Shouting desperately to be heard over one another.

_ I understand! I’ve always understood! _

Ashe opened his eyes, his throat tight and stomach aching. He was so stupid. He didn’t have a crest or money, and he couldn’t have stupid crest-bearing royal heirs. What would Dimitri even want him for?

He thought about that book he’d lost, the handsome thief wooing a beautiful nobleman with his clever words and rakish grin. He couldn’t even offer that to Dimitri. He wasn’t debonair and handsome and smart with his words. He was just…

He was just…

Ashe.

And as much as he’d always wished it could be, life simply wasn’t a book.

* * *

Ashe squeaked in surprise as he turned a corner and saw Dimitri at the other end of the courtyard. He hurriedly whipped back around and slammed face first into what he was sure was a wall--until he heard the laughter coming from it. He leaned back and pouted up at Sylvain. “H-hi,” he muttered, glancing over his shoulder at Dimitri again who seemed very preoccupied talking to the Professor. “Sylvain, can you move?”

Sylvain pressed one hand against the column near Ashe’s head, leaning down so they were face to face. “And what’s in it for me, cutie?”

Ashe shrank back from him, furrowing his brow. He glanced at Dimitri again, seeing him start to turn around, and his heart pounded in his chest. He couldn’t talk to Dimitri. He’d spent the last few days running away from him every time they got near each other. “Please, Sylvain, I-I’ll let you hide in my room the next time you piss someone off.”

Sylvain hummed thoughtfully, changing his perch from his hand to his forearm and leaning down even closer to Ashe. _ At least _ , Ashe thought, _ Dimitri can’t see me through him. _

“You know, that’s a good offer, Ashe, but I’m a little more curious about your crush on the prince.”

Ashe looked up at Sylvain, his eyes wide, heart pounding. “W-what are you--”

Sylvain rolled his eyes, moving so that he leaned his side against the column, completely hiding him from Dimitri’s view. “Oh come on, you’re even blushing right now!”

He was? Ashe touched his face, felt the heat of it. “Sylvain, please--”

“Hey, hey, I’m not judging!” Sylvain said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “I’m only here because of”--he pointed over Ashe’s head, at a beautiful girl giggling with her friends--”date number four.”

Ashe didn’t even glance over, too busy trying to peek over Sylvain’s shoulder to see if Dimitri was headed their way. He caught only a glimpse of his blue cape disappearing in the other direction, and for some reason it broke his heart. He was trying to avoid Dimitri, but…

“Sylvain, can I please go?” Ashe asked, frowning and looking at the ground.

Sylvain shook his head with a soft smile that Ashe couldn’t be sure was sincere or not. “Afraid not, bud. I’m not judging, but I _ am _scolding you.”

Ashe grimaced, crossing his arms over his chest. “Sylvain--”

“Ah, ah!” Sylvain waggled his finger at him. Ashe pouted even more, feeling like a child. Sylvain was only a little older than him, but he milked those three years for all they were worth. “Listen to the master,” he insisted. “If you want dick, you generally want to run _ towards _ it, not away from it.”

Ashe wished he could shrivel up and disappear, but instead he pushed at Sylvain’s chest, a valiant effort to escape before he exploded from embarrassment. He didn’t think of Dimitri _ that _ way! “Sylvain--”

“Hey, Dimitri is my best friend--”

“Sylvain, seriously--”

“You have my utmost approval--”

“Stop!”

They both froze at his shout. He clapped a hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry…”

But Sylvain just leaned back, holding his hands up as if consoling a rabid animal. “All right, okay.” He seemed genuinely hurt, and Ashe felt genuinely bad. “You know… most people aren’t like you,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest and looking him up and down. “That’s why I approve.”

Ashe just looked away. It didn’t matter if Sylvain approved, it was just… Ashe was just…

“Sylvain, Dimitri is looking for you,” Dedue said suddenly from beside them.

Ashe gasped as he whipped his head around to look up at him. Unfortunately avoiding Dimitri had meant avoiding him too… Dedue didn’t look so happy about that, but then he was so hard to read. Ashe bit his lip hard and looked away again.

“Oh, dammit, and I lost sight of her!” Sylvain complained, leaning around Dedue to look where his prey had disappeared to. “Ugh, fine, talk to you later, Ashe!”

He took off running down the hall, presumably to meet up with Dimitri or find his mystery girl, and Ashe was alone with Dedue. He shuffled his feet, unable to look up at him, trying to come up with an excuse to escape too, but nothing plausible came to mind. At length, Dedue said, “Will you join me for cooking duty tonight?”

Ashe couldn’t deny that sounded nice. Cooking usually calmed his nerves, especially when he cooked with Dedue.

And he supposed, Dedue wasn’t the one he was trying to avoid anyway… Dedue wasn’t the one he’d almost kissed, after all. Dedue wasn’t the one he wasn’t supposed to kiss.

So he nodded. Soon Ashe found himself working side by side with Dedue, kneading dough while he carefully prepared a fish. The scent of roasting vegetables and the sound of Dedue’s slick knife kept most of the voices at bay, but Sylvain’s words were still loud in his head.

What did he mean, he wasn’t like most people? Well, maybe he was right. Most people knew their place and stayed in it. Ashe had always felt that he couldn’t accept his lot… Always aching to do more, to be more. Usually that was okay, he guessed. He wanted to take care of his siblings, and that was admirable, though he’d done something unforgivable to achieve it. And he wanted to become a knight, that was a good goal to have. Knights were worthy of respect, and it wasn’t strange for someone who came from adversity to become one.

But… his feelings for Dimitri…

Ashe shook his head of the thoughts, looking over at Dedue instead. He watched him work, his big hands so quick and steady. He wondered, with a hopeless sigh, why his heart couldn’t be swayed to fall for him instead.

After all, Dedue was handsome--there was no doubt about that. And he was kind and gentle. And his cooking was to die for! He had this vulnerability to him that Ashe longed to comfort. He thought, if he just let himself, he could very easily fall in love with Dedue.

He looked up at him intently, his hands slowing on the dough he was supposed to be kneading, and willed himself to do it. Willed his stomach to flutter at the concentration on his face, willed his mind to ponder the feeling of Dedue’s lips against his own.

But all he could think about was the way Dimitri’s breath felt against his mouth, the way Dimitri’s arms felt wrapped around his thighs.

Ashe looked back to his dough, kneading it harder, taking his frustration out on it. Stupid heart. Stupid feelings! Stupid, stupid, he was so stupid. And to think this had all started because he’d lost his stupid book! What kind of idiot lost their stuff--

“You’ll ruin the dough,” Dedue said, and Ashe gasped as Dedue came behind him, grasping his hands lightly. His cheeks burned with an embarrassed blush. “Like this.”

Ashe nodded quickly, following Dedue’s lead and kneading the dough gently, softly. He let out a deep, exhausted sigh, deflating as Dedue helped him work. “You’re tense,” Dedue said.

Ashe bit his lip. He already knew Dedue could tell. He was always so obvious about it, his skin too pale to hide a blush, his eyes round eyes “expressive” as Ingrid had described it once. All that meant to him was he wore his heart on his sleeve like a child…

“I’m okay--”

“Lying to me accomplishes nothing,” Dedue said, and though it didn’t quite sound like he was being scolded, Ashe felt like it.

He lowered his chin, watching as the dough became a nice, round loaf under Dedue’s guidance. “I know…”

“Is it because of His Highness?” Dedue asked, finally stepping back and returning to his fish.

Ashe looked over as Dedue easily filleted it, almost jealous of his skill. Ashe always had trouble with the scales and the bones. He just couldn’t push hard enough to get it open. “It’s…” He swallowed hard. No, he couldn’t talk about it. He had nothing to say anyway. What was there to say?

_ I think I’m in love, and I’m not allowed to be. _

Goddess… that was the first time he’d even admitted it to himself. Did he really think he was in _ love _? No, no… it was just a silly crush… It was just a teenage hormone thing…

But the memory of Dimitri’s gentle smile… the real one. The one he smiled when he meant it…

“He wants to apologize to you,” Dedue said, not looking up from his work.

Ashe shook his head. “I know it was just an accident,” he said, and he didn’t even realize he hoped so until he’d said it. It was an accident. Of course it was an accident.

Because the only alternative was that it wasn’t, and Dimitri was just as foolish as him.

“Is that what you think?”

Ashe bit back his no. He just kept working. They said nothing more that night, and Ashe went to bed with the food like a ball in the pit of his stomach. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, knowing he’d need all of his energy for the mission in the morning, but it didn’t come easily.

He kept dreaming of Christophe. His dark blue eyes dripping tears as Ashe crawled onto his bed beside him. _ I know he’s right _ , he said, voice shaky from crying so hard. He took Ashe into his arms, smiling sweetly down at him, as if he were precious. _ I’m just stubborn, I guess. _

* * *

He should have slept. Ashe felt so dizzy on the battlefield. He was usually good at fighting in the forest, dodging between trees. As a kid, struggling to hunt for food in the forest on the edges of Gaspard region, he’d gotten pretty good ducking and weaving through the wilderness.

But now he had the oddest sense of deja vu, and a sickness in his stomach.

He swore he’d run this way before, swore he’d heard the Professor say the same thing just a few minutes ago. There was an ache in his chest as if he’d taken a blow, but there was no wound.

He shook his head of it, running to take point where the Professor instructed, as the rest of his classmates moved in formation. He would find a good vantage point to clear any bandits that tried to circle in on the others, and it should be over soon. The fighting always seemed so long in the middle of battle, but he knew he’d be okay.

He stumbled over some roots, twigs snapping underfoot, and he whipped around, bow raised in case someone had heard him give away his position. He felt so clumsy today. What was wrong with him? Just from a lack of sleep? At least the Professor had noticed and ordered him to stay back.

He was so dizzy, he didn’t hear the bandit sneaking up behind him until there was a crack against the side of his head. He hit the ground hard, head spinning wildly, eyes going blind. He managed to look behind him. The bandit held a long lance, the side of it covered in what Ashe knew was his blood.

There was a ringing in his ears. He was too stunned to even call for help.

His hand weakly clasped his bow, but before he could get a proper grip on it, he heard a ferocious snarl. For a moment, he thought, _ A monster _.

And then, “Get back from him, you rat!”

No, no, he recognized that voice.

He looked up dazedly at Dimitri running full force towards them, the Professor screaming, “Dimitri, wait!”

He didn’t, raising his lance high over his head and spinning it. Ashe closed his eyes tight, catching a glimpse of his fluttering blue cape, before there was a scream and blood splattered over him. Ashe winced at the heat of it, and then his eyes shot open again when he heard Dimitri cry out in pain.

The sound was guttural. He heard Dimitri hit the ground beside him, and panic flooded his veins. No, no. No, no, no, not Dimitri, no--

He scrambled for his bow, adrenaline suddenly clearing his head, forcing him to move. He drew an arrow clumsily, hearing the bandit walking towards him with a chilling laugh. “Just a couple of kids?”

Ashe waited until he was close. He knew he’d only have time enough for one shot, and he knew it needed to count. The moment he heard the footsteps near his head, he flipped around and shot up. His arrow went right through an eye, deep into the skull, and Ashe flinched as more blood fell onto his face. At least the man fell backwards, instead of on top of him.

He heard a weak cough beside him, and only then did he finally let himself look at Dimitri.

He lay on his back, eyes fluttering at the sunlight falling into them. Blood from his mouth streaked down his cheek. His skin was going pale already.

Ashe let out a weak little sob, pushing himself onto his knees and crawling towards him. Dimitri looked up dazedly, but his blue eyes focused when he saw Ashe lean over him. “Y-you’re okay…” He smiled, somehow sweet and sincere, despite the blood oozing from his lips.

Ashe shook his head in disbelief, looking down at Dimitri’s stomach, where a deep puncture wound poured blood into the grass. He could feel the tears coming hard, dripping down his face. “Y-you…”

“Don’t cry,” Dimitri said, reaching up weakly to touch Ashe’s cheek. He turned his face towards him, and Ashe stared down at him. “I-it’s nothing Mercedes can’t heal, don’t worry about me.”

Ashe shook his head again, and again and again, sobbing, “Mercedes… Mercedes! Mercedes, please! Somebody help!”

He screamed for help, reaching to pull Dimitri up into his lap. It was so easy, he was going limp. Ashe held him tight, gasping, “You idiot, you stupid, reckless idiot, how could you ever do that for me?”

“I knew… knew I could take it,” Dimitri breathed shallowly, closing his eyes. “I couldn’t… stand aside and… let you be hurt…”

Ashe sobbed, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “You’re a _ prince _, what if--what if you couldn’t handle it, what if--”

“Ashe!”

Ashe looked up at Mercedes, who stared down at Dimitri in horror. She closed her mouth and offered Ashe a tight-lipped smile. “Just hold him still, Ashe, he’s going to be okay.”

She began to chant, raising her hands. All around and underneath them, a golden circle of light glowed into existence. Ashe looked down at Dimitri, still holding him close. The light was blinding, but still he looked down.

He petted his sweaty hair back from his face, watched as his skin went from sallow with pain and blood loss, to the rosy peach it was supposed to be. Dimitri blinked his eyes open, half-lidded and tired, and illuminated by the golden light of Mercedes’s magic, Ashe was struck by how beautiful he was.

His golden hair, perfect blue eyes. That peaceful, benevolent smile. A prince, stepped right from the pages of a book. Down to the crest glowing deep within his eyes…

He’d… he’d nearly thrown his life away for Ashe. All to save him from some stupid bandit, some stupid bandit that could have been Ashe in another lifetime.

Ashe laid his hand on Dimitri’s cheek, savoring the way Dimitri nuzzled into his touch. _ Just once _ , he thought. _ Let me be a little stubborn. _

But as the Professor ran towards them, easily hefting a still limp Dimitri up into her arms, ordering Mercedes to help Ashe off the battlefield too, Ashe knew what he had to do. Dimitri was so important… He couldn’t sacrifice his life, his duty, his entire family line for the sake of someone worth nothing.

He had to put a stop to this, before it got even more out of hand.

* * *

Ashe stood in the knight’s hall. It was late. The moon was high in the sky. The ball would happen in a few days, and because of him Dimitri had been laid up in bed since their mission the week before.

But he knew he was well enough to meet with him. He’d seen him laughing with the others, sitting in class. _ I’m quite all right, I assure you! _

Ashe had snuck a scrap of parchment into his bag, before anyone could be the wiser. He knew his handwriting was nothing nice, but he figured there was no way Dimitri could misinterpret, _ Meet me in the knight’s hall? Ashe. _

Ashe wrung his hands, wondering if he should sit, or if standing were better. Surely standing was better. He paced the floor, trying not to remember dancing with Dimitri. The way Dimitri’s hand felt in his, hand on his waist--or his hip like the last time they’d danced. The last time they’d ever dance.

He almost didn’t want to hear the doors open, but he knew that was too much to hope for. The sound was unmistakable, and he whipped around to face them as Dimitri stood in the doorway. They stared at each other for what seemed like years. Dimitri’s eyes glowed in the darkness, perfect blue.

Ashe swallowed hard and looked down, wringing his hands. What was he supposed to say? He’d practiced. He’d decided not to scold Dimitri--after all, he really had no right to scold the prince. But he needed Dimitri to understand why they could not indulge these feelings any longer.

But his words wouldn’t come to him. He heard Dimitri walking towards him, and he raised his hand to stop him. “I-I just… need a moment, Your Highness.”

Dimitri took a deep breath, but he stopped, dutifully, a few steps away from Ashe.

Ashe took a deep breath too, but it shook in his throat. He took another and another until he felt a little steadier. He straightened his back and looked at Dimitri, determined. “I have feelings for you,” he said.

Dimitri’s eyes went wide at the words, and Ashe wondered if he should have started with something else. The flickering light of the fireplace made it hard to tell if Dimitri was blushing or if he’d gone pale in horror. But it didn’t matter! It shouldn’t matter. He wasn’t there to tell Dimitri he loved him.

“And I… I’m sorry, Your Highness, f-for overstepping our boundaries. I-it was disrespectful of me--”

“Ashe--”

“Please,” he breathed. He looked at Dimitri, met his gaze, tears budding in his eyes. “Please, just let me finish. Please don’t stop me.”

Dimitri’s face fell, but he nodded. So Ashe swallowed hard and continued. “I know you don’t care about stuff like this, b-but I really do, okay? You’re the future king of Faerghus. You’re _ my _future king. And I’m just a commoner. So even… even if I like you, I shouldn’t even entertain the idea of us being anything more than classmates--”

“What about friends?”

Ashe flinched at that, looking down at his shoes. “Not if you’re willing to sacrifice yourself for me.”

Dimitri sighed, and Ashe could tell he was frustrated. He took a step towards Ashe, and Ashe took a step back. Still he said, “Ashe, you can’t just decide whether I should care about you--”

“You don’t understand!” Ashe pleaded, feeling tears drip down his cheeks. “I’m not like you, Your Highness! I’m… I’m just a commoner, I don’t have any money or crests, and I can’t give you children--” He stopped and threw a hand over his mouth. Goddess why had he said _ that _?

He shook his head, closing his eyes tight, ignoring the surprised blush on Dimitri's face. “That’s--That’s beside the point, th-the point is, compared to you, I have no worth--”

“That’s not--”

“You’re royalty,” he said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Goddess, Your Highness, I used to be a thief. A thief! I broke the law! I was an awful, awful person! You can’t put yourself in harm’s way for someone like me. Never again.” He stood straight, trying not to look the way he felt--like he was falling apart. “A-and if that means we can’t even be friends then so be it!”

He felt more tears fall, and hastily wiped them away. Maybe he would be lucky, and Dimitri wouldn’t notice them in the light of the fireplace.

But then Dimitri said, his voice dark and low, “Are you done?”

Ashe looked at him in surprise. “What--”

“I asked are you done?” Dimitri snapped, his eyes glowing with a cold fury that Ashe barely recognized. Ashe bit his lip, but he said nothing. Dimitri seemed to take that as confirmation.

He took another step towards him, and this time Ashe was too scared to step back. “I think I am more than capable of deciding who I care about,” he hissed. “Who told you that you have no worth, Ashe? Because I assure you, I would never say that.”

Ashe’s lips trembled. Had anyone ever really said it to him? He prayed he wouldn’t remember something awful again--but nothing came to mind. Maybe he’d always held such a low opinion of himself.

“Ashe, I don’t care what happens to me--”

“But you should!” Ashe gasped, eyes going wide. He shook his head in disbelief. “How could you say that? Without you, the whole Kingdom would be in shambles, Your Highness--”

“Ashe--”

But Ashe wouldn’t let him cut in. His blood was boiling. He was _ angry _. Genuinely angry. How could Dimitri ever say that? How could he not care?

“I-it’s clear I’m clouding your judgement,” Ashe breathed, and then he whipped around Dimitri, making for the door. “Please, just leave me alone.”

“Ashe,” Dimitri called after him, and this time when Ashe left through the doors, he gave chase. “Ashe, stop! Listen to me!”

Ashe shook his head, covering his ears like a child as he sped away. He heard Dimitri skid to a stop, watching him go. And then suddenly, “My dear thief, the only thing you've stolen is my heart.”

Ashe froze in surprise, his eyes opening wide. That… that was…

He turned to Dimitri, his mouth open in an “o” of surprise. Dimitri looked at him expectantly and Ashe's mouth formed the words almost unbidden. “Well, I'm afraid I've lost the place of it, my love,” he breathed.

He continued, surprised when Dimitri’s voice joined him. “You'll have to settle for mine.”

And then, so softly, Ashe almost didn’t hear it, Dimitri said, “I'd like that very much.”

Ashe could do nothing but stare as Dimitri came towards him. He reached underneath his cape, slowly tugging out something familiar: a small brown book with a beautiful painting on the cover. A handsome thief, kneeling before a beautiful nobleman. And across the cover, the word, “Stolen.”

Ashe blinked up as Dimitri held the book out. “I apologize,” Dimitri said. "I stole it. Well, I asked Dedue to steal it for me but…" Dimitri sighed and held the book to Ashe. When Ashe touched it, Dimitri cupped his hand over his, holding him firmly. "I suppose that makes us both thieves?"

Ashe felt his cheeks go hot. He didn't look up at Dimitri. He bit his lip. "Why… why would you take my book?"

"Ashe…" He did look up at that. To see the kindness in Dimitri's eyes. "I wanted to get to know you better. I thought maybe if I read one of those books you like so much, we could become closer… I only wanted you to be more comfortable around me."

Ashe held his book to his chest, trying to think of something to say. Dimitri… was so thoughtful. Of course he would do something like that.

Before he could think how to respond, Dimitri added, "I didn't realize you were interested in--"

"I-it's not mine," Ashe blurted out, and hid his face behind the book. "It's my sister's, I just…"

Dimitri raised his eyebrows, chuckling softly. "Ah, well… nevertheless, I thought… I thought it was lovely. I intended to return it to you as soon as I finished but…"

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "You must understand… when I asked you to dance with me, I did so with the purest of intentions. I simply thought we could both benefit from some practice." Ashe let him take his hand when he reached out for it, let his fingers curve under his palm and pull it up. Let them lace between his own. "I didn't intend to develop feelings for you too."

Ashe felt his breath catch in his throat, unable to look away from where Dimitri had pressed their palms together. "You… you have…"

"Was I not obvious?" Dimitri laughed, a shyness to his voice that made Ashe's heart pound. "Everyone's mentioned it to me… Annette, Sylvain… even Dedue!"

"But…" Ashe made to pull his hand away, but Dimitri took hold of it. He looked helplessly at Dimitri's determined expression. "Your Highness, we just can't--"

"And who says we can't?" Dimitri demanded, pulling Ashe's hand closer to his chest.

Ashe felt the warmth of Dimitri's chest on his palm, his heart beating fast. It made Ashe's eyes fill with tears. He curled his hand in Dimitri's coat and shook his head. "Everyone says we can't--"

"Ashe," Dimitri breathed, "didn't you hear what I said--"

"No, not _ them _ everyone," Ashe whined, looking up to meet Dimitri's gaze again." _ Everyone _ everyone! I'm a commoner, and you're--"

"A future king, with far more power than _ everyone _ everyone. Why, what's the point of power if I can't take advantage of it every now and then?" Dimitri said, standing straight and tall and puffing out his chest. But he breathed out a sigh and deflated, letting Ashe's hand fall. "...is what someone like Claude might say… Ashe, I know you're right. If we were to become lovers…"

_ Lovers _. The word sent a shiver down Ashe's spine.

But Dimitri continued, his frown deepening as he spoke. "It'd surely be troublesome," he admitted. "I won't claim otherwise."

Despite the truth to his words, hearing them hurt. Ashe wanted to run away, to hide under his covers and never emerge. But Dimitri wasn't finished yet. He furrowed his brow, looking at Ashe again, and when he stepped forward and put his hands on Ashe's shoulders, Ashe met his eyes.

"I _ do _ know… the responsibility I bear, Ashe," he whispered. "Painfully so." He smiled playfully, and despite the sadness at its edges, it relieved Ashe's nerves. "At the very least I would indeed need an--ahem-- _ heir _."

Ashe's eyes widened, and he hid his face in one hand. "Y-Your Highness," he whined, but Dimitri's responding laugh was so fond--and real. Ashe forgot to be embarrassed.

"Listen… heirs, responsibilities… that's all so very far away," Dimitri insisted.

He raised his hand to catch Ashe's chin and tilt his head back, so their eyes could meet, and meet they did. Ashe's pale green, Dimitri's glowing blue. Ashe saw the mark of his crest, so bright and pure. How was it Dimitri only held a minor crest? How bright would a major one be? Even this was blinding.

"Why don't we enjoy this now, while we're young and foolish?" Dimitri said, his voice nearly as soft as the moonlight around them, nearly as soft as the wind and the cool night air. "Ashe, would… would you allow me the honor of escorting you to the ball this week?"

Ashe's heart felt like a frog in his throat, beating hard, making it tight. He felt like he was going to cry… he felt like he'd burst into laughter. Dimitri made him nervous and happy all at once.

He wanted to enjoy it. Young and foolish…

"I…"

"You don't have to say yes, Ashe," Dimitri insisted.

But he wanted to. He wanted to so badly, no matter what those voices in his head said, no matter what anyone thought.

He looked up and met Dimitri's gaze, taken aback by the softness, the longing there. "If I say yes, Your Highness…" he breathed. "It's not me giving you permission to be reckless in battle."

Dimitri's eyes went wide, and he burst out laughing. "Ashe!" He cackled, and it was so free and loud, Ashe couldn't help joining in. As he giggled, Dimitri grinned and grabbed Ashe under the arms to lift him into the air and spin him around. "If you'll say yes, I promise I'll do nothing reckless ever again!"

In his surprise, Ashe let go of his book, and it clattered to the ground, but Ashe didn't care. He held tight to Dimitri's shoulders, laughing without restraint. How could it be reckless or foolish to feel so _ good _?

He looked down at Dimitri's face, all his worry and regret blissfully gone for a moment as he laughed and held Ashe close. It was surreal… Ashe had made him smile that way--Ashe had made him feel that way. It felt like a dream, like he'd wake up any moment.

But Dimitri's hands were firm and his heartbeat was loud and his laughter was so sweet and so encompassing that the voices disappeared in the wake of it.

"Yes," Ashe whispered. "Yes, I'll go to the ball with you, Your--" He stopped himself, biting his lip hard, searching Dimitri's face for any hint of hesitation. Finding none, he let out a shaky breath and smiled. "I'll go to the ball with you… Dimitri."

Dimitri's eyes sparkled, and his grip on Ashe faltered. He set him back on his feet, looking down at him with an emotion Ashe couldn't describe. No one… no one had ever looked at him this way. His hands slid down from Dimitri's shoulders to his chest, feeling his heartbeat as he studied his expression. He felt his heart pounding too.

"May I… Ashe, may I kiss you?" Dimitri whispered.

Immediately, he seemed to think better of the question, looking away and going red in the face. "Goddess, I--that's too forward, I'm sure--"

Ashe leaned up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. His skin was soft, warm with blush. Ashe's lips trembled as he pulled away, staring up to meet Dimitri's eyes. “You may.”

Dimitri was slow. Careful. He put his hand on Ashe’s cheek and tilted his head back. He leaned down, and Ashe’s eyes fluttered shut, focusing on the contrast of the cold air on his skin and the heat of Dimitri’s breath on his lips.

When their lips met, Ashe couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the feel of it. So soft. And warm.

He leaned into it, put his hands on Dimitri’s chest. He’d never kissed anyone before, and his head was spinning. It wasn’t really like in books--so dramatically perfect in every way. It was quieter than that. Nicer. It was a feeling he could live in.

And then they pulled apart.

Ashe blinked his eyes open at Dimitri who still leaned close to him, eyes searching his face. It was in that moment that Ashe realized his first kiss was with an actual real life prince.

He pulled his hands away and clasped them tight in front of him, his entire face feeling hot and red. “I-I should--I should go to bed--”

Dimitri laughed and caught his hand before he could escape. His grasp was light, enough that Ashe could pull away if he wanted. But he didn’t.

“Ashe, please,” Dimitri said, leaning down to scoop his book from the ground. He held it out to Ashe again, and Ashe shyly curled it to his chest. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you go running whenever you’re embarrassed.”

Ashe would have blushed brighter if he could. He looked at his feet. “N-not just… when I’m embarrassed…”

Dimitri stepped closer. “Well, tonight, I won’t allow it. May I escort you to your room?”

Ashe looked up to see Dimitri offering Ashe his arm. To his room? Where anyone and everyone might see? He looked up at Dimitri, biting his lip hard. What would they say, he wondered?

But…

He looped his arm around Dimitri’s, nervously stepped closer to him.

But maybe…

He leaned his head on Dimitri’s shoulder, closing his eyes and smiling as they walked towards the dorms.

Goddess, maybe it didn’t _ matter _.

Because when Dimitri held tight and whispered something poetic about the stars and Ashe’s freckles, all Ashe could hear was Christophe’s voice, saying, _ I’m just stubborn, I guess. _

Maybe Ashe was too.

**Author's Note:**

> SURPRISE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERINNNNNNNN!!!!!!
> 
> I'm posting this at fuckin 3AM because I wanted to surprise you but I also had to put those final touches, cuz I'm a perfectionist aljtraiuthurt I really hope you like it!!
> 
> Dimitri and Ashe are so cute together, and I've been thinking about them dancing together nonstop for like a week at least lmfao. I can't think of good commentary, I'm tired. Uhh, follow me on twitter @novelistangel23, please yell with me about Ashe Ubert LOL. Thank you all for reading!! Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> (Oh, and don't @ me, Dimitri absolutely knows this isn't proper waltz position, he's just thirsty and wants to touch Ashe's waist like it's a freaking Jane Austen novel I love him)


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